Reality Check

It was still raining outside. Her nose was pressed against the window and she watched a droplet slide slowly downward over the glass. She followed it with her finger until she could see it no more. It was not that she was bored or that she didn’t love the rain; she did, she adored rainy days. It was just… she didn’t know really. Days like this made her feel melancholic in a way. It made her miss him more, yes that was it. She sighed and tore herself away from the window to make yet another cup of coffee. Her fourth this morning, she should really tone it done. Maybe she should go outside, walk some in the rain but when she looked outside again she saw it really pouring down hard. She wrapped her cardigan around her and sat down behind her laptop. It was high time she wrote some emails to his friends and family. They were still under the presumption that he was here with her. She had been postponing the inevitable for far too long unable to face reality. They were so far away and she couldn’t stand the thought of their love or blame even. Not now, not ever. She hardly knew them; she didn’t want to know any of them to be completely honest.

She started to think back to the time they met. She was on holiday here in Scotland when she met him whilst hiking one of the many Highland trails. He came from Canada but his ancestors had Scottish roots so he said and he came here to look for it. They spent some time together; both being alone and they clicked. They talked about anything and everything and she even told him about her dream of wanting to live here. He said he could imagine why. That it was such a beautiful country and he had fallen in love with it. He had to go back to Canada but they stayed in touch. One day he just turned up at her front door with loads of bags saying that he was there to stay. Her tiny flat in South-London wasn’t big enough but they managed meanwhile saving up all their money to buy a cottage in Scotland which they did a year later.

She looked around the cottage where she now lived alone. They fell in love with it the moment they walked in. It wasn’t that big, but big enough with a lovely garden close to a loch. ‘This is where we grow old’ he’d said and she’d believed him. That was last year.

She sighed looking at her laptop again. How do you tell a mother that her son has been missing for over a month and they have given up all hope of ever finding him again?

It had really started to pour down now when she walked to the kitchen to make lunch. She couldn’t even see the hills anymore. Thankfully she had an AGA in the kitchen that kept her warm. She remembered that she was the one who really wanted one and she’d never regretted it since. It made the whole kitchen more cosy and warm. She sat down at the kitchen table looking out. She couldn’t just send an email. That was too cold. She had to call her. ‘I really don’t want too’ she mumbled to herself.

Suddenly she was startled by a knock on the door. She sat there frozen. Who could that be, here in the middle of nowhere?
She got up to open and looked out to see a silhouette of a man in a hat standing there.

‘Who is there?’ she asked shaking as a leaf.

The only reply she got was more pounding at her door. Slowly she opened the door slightly to peek through to see a policeman standing there.

‘I’m so sorry to disturb you’ he said ‘can I come in?’

‘Yes, I’m sorry I live alone and I’m being careful’ she explained.

‘As you should’ he nodded. He took of his cap and shook the rain drops off. ‘Fine weather we’re having’ he smiled.

They sat down at the kitchen table where she quickly poured him some coffee which he welcomed.

‘What can I do for you?’ she asked.

‘Well’ he started ‘you have reported a missing person, am I right?’ when she nodded he continued ‘That missing person was your husband?’

‘Yes we were only married for a few months’

‘Ah I see’ he said ‘there has been someone here to talk to you about that?’

‘Yes, he has been missing for over a month now’

‘And he was gone hiking was it?’

‘Yes all by himself’ she flinched thinking about it ‘the weather was similar to this kind of weather so I didn’t like the idea much’

‘But he went on hikes often?’

‘Oh yes that’s how we met’ she smiled thinking about it ‘Funny you should come now, I was just thinking about how to tell his mother. Should I email her, call her? I just don’t know how to tell something like this’

‘No, you never do’ he looked at her ‘it is very difficult to follow the trail he was on, the weather has been like this for weeks now’

‘I know they’ve told me, they also told me not to have hope’

He looked at her how she sat there fiddling ‘Can I use your bathroom?’ he asked.

‘Sure’ she pointed him in the right direction.

She went back to the kitchen he made sure she was sitting down at the kitchen table again before walking up the stairs instead of going to the bathroom. He had always been intrigued with this case and something about it was off he thought. He made a quick look around the rooms. Nothing in the rooms, although one was locked, but the master bedroom was different he thought. The bed wasn’t made and it looked like the bed had been slept upon on both sides. He looked in the ensuite and found all the men’s shaving gear like it’s been used recently. When he heard a thumb he quickly walked back toward the bathroom, flushed the toilet and walked to the kitchen.

‘Would you like another cup of coffee?’ she asked when he walked in.

‘No thank you I really have to go back. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Is it alright if I come back to check up on you every now and again?’ he asked.

‘I would like that’ she smiled.

When she let him out she waved at him before closing the door. Outside he walked around the cottage out of her sight. There… it wasn’t his imagination. One of the rooms upstairs the one that was locked, the curtains, they moved! He looked around and saw a tree where he could hide behind. Then he saw a man’s face and not much later she was there too pulling him away from the window and closing the curtains again. He walked back to his car and called it in.

--- 

‘Why did you lock you husband up into that tiny room?’ he asked.

Her lip was trembling, she was on the verge of crying ‘He was going to leave me’ she said tears welling up in her eyes ‘he said he would never leave me’

‘Husband?’ the man said ‘I’m not her husband. We met during my holiday in Scotland. I’m Canadian and I live in Canada. I wanted to go back after a few weeks and she wanted me to stay. I hardly know the woman! She asked me to meet her for a goodbye diner and god forgive me I said yes to please her and be done with it. How could I know she was nuts enough to put something in my food and lock me up for god knows how long? How long has it been anyway? Months maybe a year even! The woman is mad! All I wanted was to go home to Canada and she wouldn’t let me. That woman needs a serious reality check!’

© KH

The King is dead, long live the King!

Long have we waited for Shakespeare's King Richard III in the adaptation of the Hollow Crown series. We that is; the fans of Benedict Cumberbatch.
Last Saturday we finally got to see him play this role.
Shakespeare wrote Richard to be an evil King, who conspired to get his brother Edward off the throne, his other brother George imprisoned and later murdered. He locked the sons of Edward, next in line of the throne, away in the Tower later to be murdered all so that he could have the throne all for himself. In Shakespeare's play Richard was deformed, he had a humpback, scoliosis. He was mean, evil and it would be his downfall too.

Everyone agreed after Saturday night; Benedict Cumberbatch was brilliant as Richard III.
Everyone accept the Times; they had to give another perspective on it;

We all have a favourite Richard III: spidery Antony Sher, martial Ian McKellen, debauched Kevin Spacey or good old Laurence Olivier. After Saturday’s conclusion to The Hollow Crown trilogy, the Cumberbitches now have their own, although Benedict Cumberbatch’s besotted fans will surely have had a problem adjusting their sexual fantasies this time.

Really, as if most Cumberbatch fans don't have a brain of their own and can't enjoy a good Shakespearian play. As if we go wild for every evil King that comes along and have sexual fantasies about him. This is setting women back a notch as Benedict would say it not to mention an insult to his acting achievements. Most of us are in this Fandom for his work first and foremost. Most of us aren't teens but grown women who have husbands, children and jobs of their own. Lives of their own. There is nothing wrong with a bit of fangirling now and again but we all know the man is married as are we! 

To be honest ; I never once saw Benedict whilst watching Richard III. I only saw Richard, sometimes I felt sorry for him even especially when his mother made horrible remarks towards him. Sometimes I was in awe how genius he was, Richard that is and yes I had to remind myself that it really was Benedict behind that armour. 

You can say that we (Cumberfans) are biased because we are fans after all but we do see what is good or not. We do appreciate Shakespeare (so many of us were at Hamlet plus countless of non-Cumberbatch fans) we do have a brain that works. So please, don't ever call us bitches again. Or that Benedict is only liked as Richard by his fans. To the journalist of the Times; You really are the one with a huge chip on your shoulder or blinders on... 

As Richard III would say; 'Off with his head!' 

© KH 

The affair

The shadows were creeping up slowly in the room where I was sitting in my chair. I don’t think I had moved an inch since I had sat down that afternoon. I just sat there unaware of the birds chirping in the hedge in the garden, the pigeons asking for attention on the other side of the garden wanting me to feed them. I didn’t hear the postman ring my doorbell or the neighbour taking the package for me instead.
I was alone with my thoughts, I felt alone, in despair even. I couldn’t think, feel, hear, move but only sit there in my chair, in my living room. I couldn’t do anything other than just sit there and exist. I didn’t know who long I sat there. All I know is that I felt a tear roll down my cheek and my hand moving toward my cheek to wipe it away. By then the room had gone dark and the sounds outside had silenced. My stomach rumbled but I couldn’t give in.

How simple life was before all this, I thought. One doesn’t think about life in general when you’re going through everyday life, doing everyday things. One takes even the littlest of things for granted when you don’t have to think about tougher things ahead. You normally don’t think about things getting different, or that things can go wrong or worse, change so much that your whole life is upside down. I didn’t, not until a day ago that is. I had a job, a loving husband and we were even planning on starting our own family. Until…

I got up from my chair and started to pace up and down, wearing the floorboards out. I had no idea of the time; I hadn’t been paying much attention to that, until I heard the clock in the hallway chime 12 times. Oh dear, past midnight. I quickly made myself a sandwich and a cup of tea before I went upstairs to bed.
I was lying awake staring at the ceiling for just a little while until finally my eyes became heavy and I must have fallen asleep.

The next morning I woke up startled not knowing where I was or what had happened for a moment. I took a shower, went downstairs all ready for work when I realised there was something not right. I already was on my way back towards the staircase when the doorbell rang. My heart jumped in my chest. I held onto the banister to catch my breath before I answered the door. Two policemen stood in front of the door.

‘Good morning may we come in?’

I really must have looked like I was ready to faint; they were inside before I had the chance to say anything. They took me to the living room and sat me in my chair. One policeman came out of the kitchen with a glass of water and handed it to me.

‘Are you alright ma’am?’

All I could do was nod as I took small sips of water. I looked at them; could they see through me? Could they feel what was going through my mind? Did they know? I raised my eyebrow and sighed.

‘I’m so sorry to have to tell you this’ they started.

My husband who was declared missing for weeks now, was still missing and they had to stop the search because there were no more leads on his whereabouts. Of course they would still keep trying but there would be not much hope.

‘Can we call someone for you?’

I shook my head, no; I was okay, thank you. I would be, somehow, sometime, if ever.

After they’d left I went back to my chair. That was it then, I thought. Surely but slowly the tears came rolling down my cheeks. The cheating bastard! How could he!? We had such plans him and me! Angrily I wiped my tears away, I would never cry for him ever again!
I walked to the basement and opened the door. There he was hanging from the beams; his hands tied.
I stood in front of him and took his wallet again where he’d kept a picture of not only me but of his secretary as well. She wasn’t even pretty. She had mousy greyish brown hair and thin lips. She wasn’t even thin or big breasted or something vulgar like that which men always seem to enjoy.
I put on some latex gloves and poured water over his head to wake him. I had taped his mouth and tied his hands to the beams above his head. He sat on a stool and I kicked it away. He looked at me with big scared eyes.

‘Well husband’ I said to him in a sarcastic tone ‘now you’ve done it. The police were just here. They have given up on you’

He shook his head and tried to speak.

‘Don’t bother’ I told him ‘After I confronted you with your affair you begged me not to do anything until you came home; you would make everything alright again. When I didn’t hear anything I called you over and over again and when I started to look for you where did I find you? With her! This is your own fault, Thomas. So… what am I going to do with you now?’

‘Mmmmm’ he tried to scream.

All the anger and the hate that had built up inside came out and I directed it all towards him. I punched him in the face and he immediately got a bloody nose.
How could they have treated me like that! How could he have treated me like that! We were going to have kids. He was my soulmate.
I looked at him and all of a sudden I hated the woman I had become; the woman they had made of me. I put the stool back under him and walked away back upstairs. What was I doing? Who was I? I couldn’t let him go now, he’d run straight to the police. We would never have a normal marriage again; I could never trust him ever again.
I walked up and down wearing the floorboards out again when suddenly I realised the solution was right under my feet the whole time.

A few months later the police came again with an update. (Still no news) I invited them in and made some tea. One of the policemen came into the kitchen to help and when he walked over the floorboards it squeaked.

‘You must have someone take a look at that’ he said.

I smiled at him ‘Oh it’s such an old wooden floor. I’m sure it’s okay, my husband put his life into this floor you know, and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to it’

© KH