Sunday 31 October 2021

All Hallows Eve (2)

 An old one but since it's Halloween... a Throwback. 


All Hallows Eve

It was All Hallows Eve
And she was all alone
Shadows surrounded her
One single candle burning
All around her
Voices whispered
Or so she thought

At All Hallows Eve
Her senses were
So much more
Alert it seemed
Did she hear footsteps
Or was that her
Imagination

O was All Hallows Eve
Already in the past
So she thought when suddenly
Something brushed by her skin
She cried out in fright
The voices buzzed in her head
Or did they?

On this All Hallows Eve
A young woman was
Scared to her death
And became as one
With the voices
She didn't want to understand
Voices of her own past


© KH

Wednesday 20 October 2021

October is my favourite colour


October is my favourite colour

There is no better hue

The brown and yellow

Red and even golden

Are making my heart sing with joy


No matter whether the fierce wind 

Is blowing through my hair

Or the rain is beating

Against the windows

I am filled with happiness


October is my favourite colour

And my favourite weather too 

The hotness of summer gone

Sun shining on golden leaves

My heart skips a beat now that autumn has begun


© KH


Friday 27 March 2020

Pandora’s Box

She was looking at the street from her balcony. The quietness almost grabbed her by the throat. She knew it was her fault somehow, she did this. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. She couldn’t help it. Across the street a little girl with a purple dress waved. She hesitated but waved back. The sun slowly rose, and she just stood there, looking down on the empty streets, watching the shadows between the houses change with the climbing of the sun. It never was this quiet before on a weekday. No cars in the streets, no people, just the chirping of the birds announcing that spring had sprung.

Her next-door neighbour came onto his balcony and started to talk to her. It startled her. She looked at him; his hair was grey, he had wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes. Kind eyes, she thought. She had hardly ever talked to him. Never had the time before all this. Before she worked every day and, in the evenings, she went to the pub or a restaurant with friends. Now those were all closed. Her neighbour was still talking but she just couldn’t concentrate on a word he said. “I’m so sorry”, she just whispered as she walked back inside, leaving her neighbour talking to himself.

When it became dark, she turned on the tv to watch the news, only to see it had spread even more. All over the world people stayed home or were only allowed to do some quick grocery shopping where they would hoard leaving hardly anything for others. She sighed deeply and turned the tv off. She sat there in the dark thinking what to do. How hard she was thinking about it, there was nothing, she had done enough.

Over the next days and weeks, it became even worse. People were dying, more people were getting sick, and when it all would be over, there would be a huge economy crisis all over the world. She was looking outside where people on their balconies were starting to sing songs with each other. They didn’t give up hope, she thought. But she had, she had given up hope a long time ago. She looked to the corner where she had put the box, her box. The box which never should have been opened. But she had been too curious. She had to know what was in that box. She had opened the box one day, and all kinds of evil things flew out of it. It had scared her so that she wanted to put the lid back on, but she couldn’t. The last thing that flew out was hope. Outside the people were still singing, they also were applauding the nurses and doctors who were working so very hard to try and cure the sick.

Hope. The people had hope. They held on to hope. She took one more look at the box, which was so beautifully decorated, which made her want to open it more. She then turned around and closed the door and went onto her balcony too. She smiled at her next-door neighbour and started to sing and applaud with all her neighbours.

Hope, she said to herself. We still have hope.



© KH

Wednesday 30 October 2019

Ode to my hair


I’m sorry I haven’t appreciated you enough
For years I have ignored you
Your beautiful colours have enlightened me
I just didn’t see it


I’m sorry I was too insecure to notice you
I changed my mind over and over
Darker mood, darker colours
I have tried it all

I’m sorry I started loving you when it was too late
Now that I’m older and wiser perhaps
Your colour is so gorgeous and always has been
But I realised that not in time

I’m sorry I complained a lot about you
You just didn’t deserve that
The truth is I have always loved you
I was just so unsure

I’m sorry is a little too late I know
Your beautiful chestnut, brown colour
Is fading into a silvery grey, but still shining
You are still beautiful, but I wish I had more time with the old you

© KH

Friday 4 October 2019

Loud



Yes, I’m loud
I know because I have heard
People tell that to me all my life
Perhaps it is insecurity
But it could also be just who I am
A loud person, a loud voice
Why do I need to change
To make you feel more comfortable?

© KH

Friday 26 July 2019

Heatwave

When I walk outside the heat feels like walking into an oven
It has never been this hot, the weather person says
We have to worry about the temperatures, they tell us
This is not normal, everyone is shouting
Meanwhile, people are gathering together at the airports
Summer holiday is coming and they need to take a plane!
Fly, fly away from here, to even hotter places
Take a plane, yes go fly, everyone and wonder
Wonder why the climate is going to kill us all

The Earth is being smothered,
Melting with hotter temperatures than ever
We are killing her with our cars, planes, campfires, fireworks, and other things
People don’t care about her, as long as they can do whatever
They want to do, by any means necessary
But when they Earth is complaining,
By an earthquake, or a heatwave
Then people say; oh, it will pass;
Climate change is fake news
But is it?

© KH

Wednesday 3 July 2019

The psychologist



“I don’t feel like myself anymore” I said with a sigh. 
“What do you mean by that?” he looked over his paper whilst drafting a report, about me no doubt.
“I don’t think I have to explain that to a psychologist” I snapped.
He frowned which made him even more appealing “You are here for a reason, Abigail. One would think you’d want to get better”
I looked at him with my most disdained looking face. At least I thought it was. What did he think he was? I wasn’t here of my own choosing and he knew that!
“Perhaps we should end our session for today” he concluded “We have a group session later this afternoon, maybe you will be more cooperative there?”
He even sounded hopeful, the poor guy.
I nodded, sure if I ever wanted to get out of here I should cooperate.
I wasn’t an idiot even though I was put in a mental hospital.
I left Dr Strange’s office (as I secretly called him because of his goatee) and went to the general living room. Why had I ever agreed to let myself be admitted here, I was thinking as I was watching the people who were already there. It was an odd bunch, some claimed to be crazy to avoid prison, some were quite bonkers! And then there were the people who were asked to be examined, before a trial, to see if they were of sound mind when they committed their crime. I belonged to that last category.
---
“Well, who wants to go first” Dr Strange said with a smile on his face. “Come on, don’t be shy, we are all here for the same reason, to better ourselves”
“Why don’t you go first then” some pale faced yellow teeth girl said. Everyone started giggling.
“Well, Amy, that’s a nice thought” Dr Strange said with a straight face “but it’s not what we’re here for, now is it, so why don’t you start?”
Amy went from pale faced yellow teethed to pouting Amy as she was muttering that it wasn’t meant as such. But she started talking anyway.
I did my best not to look at Dr Strange. I didn’t want to talk, not just yet. I needed to plan my strategy first. Amy was whining about things not being fair in her life or whatever. Well, life isn’t fair. Deal with it. Amy was someone I didn’t like from the start, but I didn’t count her out just yet, perhaps I could use her later. I pretended to be very interested in the other women’s stories. I tried to listen to them, I did really! But my mind was wandering, trying to find ways to get the hell out of here.
“Abigail, it’s your turn” I suddenly heard Dr Strange say with his annoying smile.
I turned to look at him and said nothing, I just stared at him.
“You have to talk at some point” he said.
“I know but I’m not ready, not yet” I said trying to look at him with my most seductive look. It always helped with other men, so why not with him? I could always try.
“Hm” he cleared his throat “right then, I let you off the hook for once, but next session it is your turn, alright?”
“Okay” I whispered softly turning my eyes to the floor.
After the group session was over Susan, my room mate, came over to me.
“What the hell was all that?” she shouted almost.
“It worked didn’t it?”
“You won’t get away with it the next time”
“I know I have to figure something out for next time”
“What on earth have you done that he can’t know about? Isn’t it known already? Didn’t the police give your records to him?”
“Perhaps, but even they don’t know everything”
I saw Susan looking at me as if she didn’t believe me but oh if she only knew! If they all knew! Especially Dr Strange, if he knew…
---
When I woke up, I felt it, this would be the day. This would be the day it would happen. I had the one on one session at ten and I would tell him all. He wouldn’t believe me of course, no one would. I grinned at the prospect of this day. I went to have breakfast, listened to the other women but it didn’t really reach me what they were talking about. I was deep in my own thoughts.
When it was time for my session, I walked to Dr Strange’s office with the same calm state of mind as back then. I had no doubt in my mind that everything would be okay. I went into the office and Dr Strange sat there in his chair. He looked up when I walked in and smiled at me.

“Good morning Abigail, please have a seat” he said pointing at the chair facing him.
I sat in the comfy chair and looked if he had his recorder on and waited for him to start.
“Good” he said, “let’s see where we left things off last time” He went through his papers “Oh right, last time you were saying you didn’t feel like yourself anymore, but you didn’t clarify. Would you like to now?”
“Yes, I would, thank you Tom”
“What?” he looked at me and I could see the shock in his face.
“I said that I would like to clarify”
“Oh, erm I thought I heard something else, please continue”
“Of course, but can I first ask you a question and if you can will you answer it honestly?” I asked as polite as I could. I knew my tone of voice was completely different from the last couple of weeks since I’ve been here, and it had thrown him off.
“Erm it is highly irregular but if it is not to personal…”
“Tom” I said softly putting my hand on his knee “Haven’t you recognized me at all? Haven’t you missed me?”
“What?” there it was, the look in his eyes, the shock, and the sudden recognition. I had to be quick now.
“I said I would explain; well you have read my police record I presume?” I paused for effect “You have read that I have murdered an elderly couple for their money, but what you haven’t read is that I was pregnant at the time” Pause. “My then psychologist had seduced me which of course was highly frowned upon and I let him because he was a charmer that one” Another pause for effect “He begged me not to tell because he would be fired, well beg is not the word” I said while pretending to think “Threaten is the word, yes he threatened me not to tell, even when I told him I was with child, he told me to just get rid of it. Can you believe that, Tom? Who would do that? Can you imagine that? Such a wonderful, charming psychologist who takes advantage of women. I have been sitting there in his waiting room to try to talk to him, but he has done this with more women I can count! I don’t think all of them were pregnant though, but he turned out to be such a horrible person! So, when I tried to talk about it, he disappeared into thin air. Poof! I was desperate and found where his parents lived. They invited me in, listened to my story and his dad wanted to pay me a huge sum of money, but, and there’s a big but, I had to give them my child after it was born. He gave me some money in advance. Not a single word about their son, that it in fact was rape, taking advantage of a patient. Not sorry for our son, nothing like that. His dad gave me money, I said I needed to go to the toilet, and I went to the kitchen. I took a butcher knife and slid his mother’s throat. The dad came in, saw what I did and when I wanted to kill him with the knife, he kicked me in the stomach. The boy, it was a boy Tom, died instantly. I stabbed the dad a hundred times I think, bleeding myself, crying because of the dead child I at first didn’t even want but now was kicked to death by his grandfather” I felt a tear slid down my cheek. I knew I had to finish it and be quick about it.
“You see, Tom, I knew I shouldn’t have done what I’ve done. But you started it all, you have done things with me that you shouldn’t have. I’ve seen girls here that I know for a fact, by sitting in your waiting room, you have hurt as well. You are not a good person Tom. But I am going to prison, because I killed your parents who defended their horrible son and who wanted to take my son away from me and turn him into a monster as well. Who would have believed me? No one, I am alone and now, Tom, you are too. And that is what I meant with that I am not myself anymore, you have changed all that. Thanks to you I am here where I am today”
I stood up looking up at the shock still on his face. The recorder on the side table still recording.
“You killed my parents…” he whispered “it was you”
“Oh get over yourself” I said “you didn’t even recognize me! How many women have you victimized? Well? How many? If you didn’t even recognize me!”
During the conversation his face had turned from angry-red to purple and pale after he heard about his parents.
“My parents were all I had” he lowered his voice to a sinister tone.
“Yes well, we all have lost something we cared about, but I have to go to prison for it, so it seems”
“You… you are a despicable woman!” Dr Tom Sharp, his actual name,  stood up and put his hands around my throat.
“Help” I squealed. He was much stronger than I was, and I was kicking to try to get his hands away from me.
He pushed me against his desk with his hands still on my throat. My hands were searching frantically around his desk when they suddenly found what I was looking for. I lunged forward stabbing him in his eye with a letter opener. Immediately he let go of my throat and I could breathe again.
While he cried out in pain, I tried catching my breath and grabbed the recorder which was still recording and ran out of the office.
“Help” I cried when I ran away “Please help me! He tried to kill me!” I knew very well the marks on my throat were very visible. People were running towards me. “Oh my god what happened?” they said. Someone started screaming when Tom Sharp came running out of his office, the letter opener still in his eye.
---
Sipping my cup of tea in my own flat, on my own sofa, who would have thought that I would ever be here again after all that had happened. After the judge had heard the tape on the recorder I saved they were convinced that I had a nervous breakdown at the time, that I have had enough time in the mental hospital and that after what Tom had done to me that I could go home. Tom however wasn’t that lucky; more women came forward and he is the one doing time in prison for a very long time. I can’t help but smile at the very thought. Such a handsome man, what will they do to him there?

© KH

All Hallows Eve (2)

 An old one but since it's Halloween... a Throwback.  All Hallows Eve It was All Hallows Eve And she was all alone Shadows surrounded he...